Thursday, February 28, 2013

Kids Who Ruined Movies

Think about all those movies you love and enjoy and then think of that thing that you blocked out. Yeah, those little annoying brats in awesome movies. They really do ruin a good movie, don't they?

Here's a list of movies with annoying little brats who ruined them:


Jurassic Park. Tim and Lex Murphy. Possibly the two most annoying kids ever to be in any movie. Why a director puts little kids into a "scary" movie is beyond me. It really takes away the scariness and all you want throughout the movie is for them to die. I don't know about you, but when Tim got electrocuted by the electric fence I was really hoping he died. I know that sounds bad, but that kid was so annoying. Remember Lex's line about being a computer hacker...wow...she was like what twelve? Then she can hack into the security system?? Come on. If she is that smart she wouldn't be so stupid, like shinning the flashlight at the T-Rex. Good idea there Lex. What kind of name is Lex for a girl anyway, her name is Alexa, I'm sure. So why go with the whole Lex Luthor girl wanna be thing? Plus, Lex Luthor is cool evil genius. And that's just hurting his good name.


Jurrassic Park: The Lost World. Kelly. Why? Why is she in this movie? Nobody cares that Ian has a kid. People like Ian because he is the funny guy in the movie. And then gymnastic girl kills a Velociraptor by swinging and kicking it with her ankles. Not with her feet by the way in which she would have broken her ankles. And the obviousness of the girl swinging wasn't even the same actress. 


Jurassic Park III. The little kid who somehow defends himself against dinosaurs for a number of weeks with his T-Rex pee. Which I really don't want to know how he got. Then as soon as everyone else shows up, he becomes helpless? How did that happen?


Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Anakin Skywalker. I know he is a big deal for the rest of the movies, but does he have to be so annoying? Little whining brat. I guess we know where Luke got it from.


Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Anakin. He never learns, you would think with all his Jedi training, he wouldn't still be a whiner. 


Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi. The Ewoks. I know they aren't little kids or are they? No one ever explains what the heck those little teddy bears are. I'm guessing they have the IQ of a little kid since they act like them. So they really do ruin the Battle of Endor. Somehow of group of little furballs with spears and rocks can wipe out an army of the highest advanced military who can take over the rest of the universe fine, but they get killed by Ewoks? Come on. I have to be honest when that first Ewok died, I was happy. 


Terminator Salvation. What purpose does the little girl serve? I had to go back to check, but Judgement day was in 2004 and this movie took place in 2018. That kid was definitely younger than 14, so where did she come from? After millions of people died, she was just born randomly? So her parents obviously died, so how did she not? So millions of strong men and women die, but a little girl doesn't? Thankfully she doesn't talk at all throughout the movie so that decreases her annoyingness. 


Terminator 2: Judgement Day. Young John Conner. Annoying little kid who thinks he's cool. Really hoped for The Terminator to turn on him and kill that little brat.


War of the Worlds. Rachel. Ok, I know that Dakota Fanning was a good child actress at a young age. And I also know that her behavior in this movie was expected, a little kid being scared to death in an alien invasion. But all she did throughout the entire movie was cry, panic, and scream. I don't know about you, but I really wanted to shut that girl up.


Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Short Round. What purpose does he serve? None. This movie would have been better without him and that annoying blonde Willie, but that's another story. I don't like watching this movie because of this annoying kid.   


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Mutt Williams. Another useless character. This movie sucked anyway with old Indiana and the whole alien thing, but why bring in another kid? Yes, he is older than Short Round, but he still just as annoying. He does have a few good old guy jokes here and there, but mostly there is no purpose for him in this movie. 


The Santa Clause. Charlie. Perhaps the most annoying kid ever to be in a movie besides Tim and Lex in Jurassic Park. All of his not listening to his father, his whining, and his outstanding annoyingness. When he was climbing on the snowy, slippery roof, I was really hoping for him to slip, fall, and die. 


The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Edmund. Between his constant whining and his whole turning on his brother and two sisters for chocolate. He got better later on, but still.


Star Wars Episode VII: The Return of Old Solo

Ever since Harrison Ford signed on to return as Han Solo and with Mark Hamil and Carrie Fisher in talks to reprise their roles. I'm guessing, since they are all in their sixties/seventies and way too old to do anything, this second trilogy is going to be about their kids. Luke's son, Ben and Han and Leia's kids, Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin.

Hopefully they will be in their twenties or at least late teens in this movie. Nothing is worse than having little kids be main characters in an super popular franchise movie. Remember the first Jurassic Park? The kids were the most annoying part(s) in the entire movie. Or the little kid in Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom? Or going back to Star Wars, Anakin in The Phantom Menace. So hopefully they will be older and not ruin the movie.

When I first heard that Harrison Ford was returning as Han Solo. I was disappointed. Especially with J.J. Abrams directing, I thought for sure he would do what he did with Star Trek. Have a younger cast of actors play Han, Luke, and Leia.

No one has actually confirmed that this new trilogy will be about their children. I'm really hoping that this won't be a new Indiana Jones: Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And old Han Solo trying to be young again would not do well. The main reason I figure it will be about their kids is because back when Disney was trying to find a director and they were talking to Matthew Vaughn. He wanted Chloe Grace to star in it. Who was Hit Girl in his Kick Ass in 2010. So that's how I came to that conclusion, but since he isn't directing it. It's all up to J.J. Abrams, but George Lucas has to accept the story before they make it, but also he met with Ford, Hamil, and Fisher a few months before he sold LucasFilm to Disney. So I'm pretty sure all three of them will be in it.

There hasn't been much new news recently, but I"ll update if I hear anything.

UPDATE: George Lucas let slip that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamil, and Carrie Fisher have signed on for Han, Luke, and Leia. Apparently he wasn't supposed to, probably because J.J. Abrams is extremely secretive when it comes to anything.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Captain Jack Sparrow Returns

Good title for Pirates 5, huh? The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Return of Captain Sparrow. No, this is not the actual title to this movie, if it was it would be interesting.

Pirates 5. Not sure what else they can do with Pirates. They've had pretty much everything I can think of: skeletons, fish people, mermaids, the Kraken, Blackbeard, random zombies, hidden treasure, the English, the Spanish, and even though it was a bit of a stretch, the Fountain of Youth.

There are only a few things I can think of that they can do, but I'm sure that there are many things they are thinking about. But here are my ideas: A creepy, but cool version of Captain Hook. How cool would that be? Captain Hook vs. Captain Sparrow. It can be done, since both are Disney characters. Plus, we've seen wooden legs, monkeys, eye patches, and parrots, now we want to see a hook hand.

Some things they need to improve on from the last movie: Add a supporting character and a supporting character story line. Much like the Will and Elizabeth love story throughout the first three. Plus Will and Elizabeth both being supporting characters was good too. Jack is great, but he needs someone with him. The last movie was really missing that. At first I thought that Phillip, the missionary guy, and that mermaid were going to be like the new Will and Elizabeth, but it didn't feel like it to me. All there is really left is Barbossa and he has the Queen Anne's Revenge, Blackbeard's ship.

Another thing they should do is give Will a small part or at least a cameo in next movie. Since he is still harboring the dead with his father, they can easily show him.

As for Elizabeth, she kinda fulfilled her purpose. She married Will and has a kid, so she can't really do much.

As for Angelica, she didn't really fill the void of where Elizabeth left. An old flame of Jack's didn't really impress me very much.

Blackbeard was good, they shouldn't have killed him off so soon.

They really need to get The Black Pearl out of the bottle, also they need to spend more time on the ships and having naval battle and less time on land wasting time. Did you know that in the whole movie of On Stranger Tides not a single cannon was fired. Shocking, isn't it?

The only other real pirate captain I can think of is Captain Kidd. That would be pretty cool, but I think a Captain Hook or something else would be better. Blackbeard was cool because he was real, but he didn't have the same effect like Davy Jones or Barbossa.

So Pirates 5 needs to make improvements from Pirates 4. I'll keep you updated if I hear anything new.

2015: The Year Of The Big Movies

I remember a few years ago this year was the year of the movies, but it's not even close to 2015. Yes, this year we have Man of Steel, Wolverine, The Hobbit Part 2, Thor 2, Fast 6, Iron Man 3, Lone Ranger, Star Trek 2, Die Hard 5, G.I. Joe 2, etc.. Which is a lot of movies, but big franchise movies are coming in 2015.

Star Wars Episode VII. The long awaited Star Wars movie. Anybody who knows anybody likes Star Wars. This movie is number one for the year, hands down.

Avengers 2. Following The Avengers which came out last year, they are making Avengers 2 which is awesome. The Avengers was awesome and I bet this movie will also be awesome, but nothing beats Star Wars, so that's why it's number two.

Justice League. Another comic book superhero reunion, basically. What to expect from Justice League, a DC version of The Avengers. Yeah, it'll be that awesome, just instead of Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America, and Thor. It'll be Batman, Superman, Green Lantern, Flash, Aquaman, and Wonder Woman.

Pirates of the Caribbean 5. This movie was put on hold for almost two years, because of Johnny Depp's Lone Ranger coming out this year. I'm looking forward to seeing Captain Jack Sparrow again. I'll get more into Pirates on another post, so don't worry, all the questions you have will be answered.

Avatar 2. Not at all sure what this movie will be about. Avatar ended fine being a single movie, but James Cameron wants to make three total, so who's gonna argue with him. He is a great director. Between Avatar and Titanic, those two movies made so much money. So what to expect, I'm not really sure, I'm guessing Sam Worthington will be returning as Jake Sully in Avatar form like the end of Avatar. Not sure about a story line as of this moment.

Mission Impossible 5. Not sure why they are waiting another two years for this movie. I did hear a rumor that the guy who directed Jack Reacher wants to direct MI5. Hopefully we will see more of Ving Rhames in this upcoming movie along with Jeremy Renner and of course Tom Cruise.

Ant Man. Ant Man is a Marvel superhero, who in the comic books is an Avenger. Although he is kinda boring, honestly. All he can do is shrink down to ant size and communicate with ants. So basically a superhero version of Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.

Fantasic Four. It's not a sequel to Silver Surfer, it's a reboot. I do not know anything about this movie. All I know is the reason they are rebooting is because the last two didn't do so well and plus Chris Evens is now Captain America. Matthew Vaughn (Director of X-Men First Class) has signed on as producer.

Bourne 5. Sequel to Bourne Legacy. Not sure as of yet if Jeremy Renner or Matt Damon will star in the upcoming sequel. There has been rumors that both will appear in it. Whether they're both or just Renner is in it, I know It'll be awesome.

Snow White and the Huntsman 2. Not really sure what they will do with this movie, I do know that Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth are both going to be in it again.

Die Hardest. Sequel to A Good Day to Die Hard. Starring Bruce Willis, obviously. Pretty much all the Die Hard movies are awesome, so I'm sure this won't be any different.

So there you have it, a lot of big franchise movies coming out in 2015. Make sure you put aside some movie money, because you're gonna need it.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Star Wars Standalone Films?

Yes, it's true. Disney, besides making the new trilogy, are making standalone movies. At first I wasn't really a fan, because it was rumored that they were going to do one on Yoda. Yoda's story is more of a mystery and I kinda like it like that. But then they said they probably weren't going to do a Yoda movie and it was a false rumor, so I was glad.

But, Disney is going to give Han Solo and Boba Fett their own standalone movies. Personally, they are the perfect two to start off standalones.

Han Solo. They can do a whole lot with him. Like how did he get the Millenium Falcon from Lando? How did he meet Lando? How did he meet Chewy? What did he do before he got the Millenium Falcon? Why does he owe Jabba money? Why does he hate droids? They can do so much with his story. I'm not sure who they could get to play a young Han Solo. They can't use the same person, unfortunately, as who they use in Episode 7. The age difference is too great. But this movie will be awesome.

Boba Fett. Boba is one of my favorite characters in Star Wars. We already know where he came from. We all learned his beginning story in Episode 2. But, we can learn everything he did between Episodes 3-4. I remember when I was younger, I read a series of Star Wars books called Boba Fett. Basically telling his story from when Jango died to Episode 5. Pretty cool series. But Boba is an awesome character and I can't wait until his standalone movie comes out.

Disney is also saying that these two movies are only the beginning. So who else are they going to make? They can do a lot of different people. Here are a few stories I would like to see:

Count Dooku. Since he used to be a jedi, how did he fall to become a Sith?

Qui-Gon Jinn. He could fit in with Dooku's story or vice versa. Since Dooku is Jinn's master. That would be pretty cool to see his story line.

Even though it isn't a person, I would like to see The Old Republic become a movie. The Old Republic which has been a few video games and books, takes place before Episode 1. It's pretty cool, it has a lot to do with the Sith and the Jedi.


Saturday, February 2, 2013

Amazing Spiderman 2

Amazing Spider-Man 2 is the obviously the sequel to The Amazing Spider-Man. Its set to hit theaters in the summer of 2014.

So far they have a lot of the cast set:
Andrew Garfield as Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Emma Stone as Gwen Stacy
Shailene Woodley as Mary Jane Watson
Jamie Foxx as Max Dillon/Electro
Sally Field as Aunt May
Dane DeHaan as Harry Osborn
Chris Cooper as Norman Osborn (Hopefully becoming Green Goblin at the end of the movie)
Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben (I'm guessing a flash back)
Paul Giamatti as Aleksei Sytsevish/The Rhino (Techinally he is rumored)
Felicity Jones as unknown yet to this point (Technically she is also rumored)

What you can probably expect to see in this movie:
Since Mary Jane is going to be in this movie, even though its been said that she will only have a small part. So I'm guessing they are just going to introduce her into the movie and she will probably be a main character in the next Amazing Spider-Man. Which if they are still sticking to the comics then Gwen will probably be killed by Green Goblin, although there has been no word about Norman Osborn/Green Goblin in this movie as of yet, but it would make sense if at least Norman was in this movie since his son, Harry, will be.

Max Dillon is acquainted with Dr. Curt Conners/The Lizard, the villain from the first movie. So I'm figuring that something will tie in there. Not sure how The Rhino is going to fit in. In The Amazing Spider-Man game that came out about a year ago, tied The Rhino to Dr. Conners experiments. So I suppose they could do that.

I'm hoping they will continue with the mystery of Peter's parents and especially the stranger in the cell with Conners. I'm not sure who Felicity Jones will be playing, nothing comes to mind, but I'm sure whatever they do with her It'll probably be important. Since they are making a pretty big deal about here being rumored in the movie.

I read an article on IGN.com about how The Amazing Spider-Man could be as epic as The Avengers. It didn't go into as much as I thought it would. They think it'll be awhile for Spider-Man to become associated with the Avengers movies. Which I do agree with, there hasn't been any signs of a connected so far. Spider-Man is an Avenger in the comics. He is part of the second wave with Wolverine.

I think for either this movie or the next they need to add a cameo of another superhero that ties in the Spider-Man comics. Like either Daredevil, The Punisher, The Human Torch, or even Iron Man. It would give the movie a boost. Think about Iron Man 2. When Black Widow, Nick Fury, and Warmachine had big roles in that movie, it made it so much cooler. I mean, that movie was awesome anyway, but by adding new heroes it made it more epic. That's why The Avengers was so awesome because they had seven superheros plus a super villain.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, the sequel to Captain America: The First Avenger, is doing it good too like how Iron Man 2 did it. They are adding The Falcon. Which is really cool, because he is hasn't been in anything yet, so that will be cool to see.

So either giving Daredevil or Iron Man a cameo would be cool, I think. It'd be cool to give Daredevil a cameo just because he's cool and lets face it, the Daredevil movie sucked and it needs a reboot. Where better to start than having a cameo in The Amazing Spider-Man? If they add Iron Man, they can easily connect Spider-Man to The Avengers.

The Amazing Spider-Man is set to release May 2, 2014.